LoNginG..

when my last relationship ended, i wanted to take my time. to rediscover myself. to strengthen my sense of self. i was determined to feel at ease with myself. alone, but not lonely. strong. capable.

i've been alone for almost two years now. and i feel proud of the changes in myself. the progress i've made. the way in which i have come to appreciate things about myself i had long since forgotten. now, more than ever, i feel able to be a partner. i know who i am. i know what i want. what i need.

but, now...lately...increasingly...i ache for the comforts of a relationship. the support. the partnership. the sense of peace that comes from knowing that there is someone waiting at the end of the day.

someone to be my cheerleader. my honest critic. the one who gets my monty python references. my obscure movie quotes.

and, of course, there are the other things i miss.

i've worked hard to make myself forget. forget what it feels like to long for someone. forget how good it feels for someone to long for you. i won't let myself think about how long it's been since someone held my hand.

and then, when you least expect it, someone comes along. out of the blue. with no warning. and he looks at you and your breathing gets shallow. and you fumble with your answers to his questions. and he makes you feel as though it's just the two of you talking. that you're not in the middle of a loud and crowded room.

okei, now am i making sense??
this is too much of my mushy syd na!
haha..:p